Oprah & Deepak 21 Day Meditation Challenge Reflections: Day 1 - Miraculous Journey

Today's Centering Thought: Today I am open to the presence of miracles

Question 1: What miracles have you already experienced in your life?

It has been a miracle to be who I am without any apologies. I have a loving family that supports me, great friends, and meaningful work. I couldn't have imagined at 22, when I started transitioning, that my life would eventually feel so normal.

I was so afraid of living a life that went against the grain. Afraid that my life's potential would be diminished just because I needed to live a personal truth that many people would find immoral, bizarre, trashy, and possibly even arduous.

I have been so lucky to be able to visualize something and have it come to fruition when people around me are perplexed and doubtful. I guess the biggest miracle I experienced was being born with a resilient spirit, and being shown how to make the best of everything.

Question 2: Make a list of the thoughts and beliefs you have about yourself and the world around you that might be inhibiting your ability to see miracles in each day?

I believe that some people don't want to see me succeed because they are aware of my abilities.

I believe that some people think I won't succeed because they doubt my abilities.

I fear that I will never experience the open mind, heart, and loyalty that I have for my family and friends in an intimate relationship. I keep trying to accept that I will never have that relationship, but my spirit disavows that thought at a gut level. I fight this battle with myself.

I feel like I've made so many job changes that no one will hire me into a position that will sustain me financially and use my best assets and skills.

Question 3: What steps can you take to open yourself to the experience of miracles? Be very specific. I will know my worth, at work and at home.

I will stop living life with a disclaimer.

I will step up when I can do something and be noticed.

I will trust that what love I put out there will come for me in due time.

I will ask people how they think I block my blessings.

Journal: Please use this section to reflect on today's session

I recently have been trying to remember that giving is not the same as taking. Giving and receiving are simultaneous. It is the law of circulation. I want to open up myself to receiving in the knowledge that miracles can happen again, just as they have happened before.

I learned today that I have spent too much time focusing on what I don't have: money, a relationship, more fulfilling work. At the same time I feel like I also don't want to survive on crumbs, emotionally, financially, or professionally. It is a battle that is zapping my energy

I forget the miracles I have seen in my life and in other people's lives. I forget how many times things have come together mysteriously, and changed my life for the better.

My first date with Torah !

Today I read Torah!! I couldn't actually believe I was doing it. I read intently, and even read some parts more than once.

It may seem insignificant, but I haven't even picked up a Bible and opened its pages in about 10 years. I can distinctly remember throwing away a Bible a couple of years ago. I vowed that I would never allow any religious babble to brainwash me the way I had been in the past. I guided myself through the next few years with sessions on a therapist's couch, and episodes from Oprah and Sex and the City. I take comfort in knowing every episode (from every season) of Sex and the City, and the fact that I can recommend one for any particular problem a person is going through means that 55 Torah portions will be a piece of cake (to remember the gist and details, that is).

So a couple of years, a gender reassignment, and a few trials and tribulations later, I've learned that those same stories that I could never accept are giving me reassurance. I remember book studies and Bible studies as a child and teenager where I constantly heard about how Satan controlled the world's rulers and how the Bible had already predicted the horrible state of the world and the "Last Days" we live in. It was so refreshing to read this weeks Parshat Chukat and delve deep beyond the words that were written onto the page into something that strengthens me.

I've been watching videos from g-dcast.com on youtube lately, but this is the first week that I've actually read the Torah portion, mainly because I just got my copy of the Tanakh from the Jewish Publication Society last week.

Here is the G-dcast video for this weeks Parshat Chukat (Numbers 19:1 - 22:1), I also read other writings on the parshat that focused on the red heifer, or Moses's anger, or Aaron and the kiss of death, but I was really inspired by this video, especially as I am looking beyond myself for healing and direction at this particular time in my life.



So on my first date with Torah, I think this might be the start of something special....
To Be Continued. . .