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Showing posts with label cooking. Show all posts
Showing posts with label cooking. Show all posts

Thursday, June 9, 2011

Why am I so afraid of brown butter sauce?

I was watching a video on youtube on red snapper with brown butter sauce and all of a sudden I had a revelation that I probably wouldn't make this dish. I love red snapper and have been wanting to prepare it since I saw them whole at Costco. The first time I tasted red snapper was in the hospital in Thailand. You could order either a "Western" or an "Asian" breakfast in the morning and after I gave in to my curiosity over what congee was, I finally ordered the Asian option. To my surprise I actually enjoyed a savory breakfast of fish and rice porridge. The fish was of course, red snapper.

Before I run off on a tangent, I guess I'll get back to the brown butter sauce. Brown butter sauce, like red snapper and a host of other ingredients I've savored in the past, is something I've always wanted to make. I've watched countless videos, scoured cookbooks, and imagined the process in every minute detail. Yet I've never actually tried to make it. Although I'm a confident cook, I feel like something this simple would be way beyond me. In the instant that I watched this video and said to myself, "I'm not going to make this," I realized that making brown butter sauce and singing are likely impeded by the same mental and emotional roadblock.

What's the worst that would happen, that I would burn it instead of brown it and have to throw it out? What would I do then? I would clean the pan and start over. I can rationally tell myself this, yet expect that if I initially had similar results with singing, the heartbreak over failing would shrivel up my will to live (an exaggeration of course.)

Every time I've tasted brown butter sauce it nearly sent me to heaven, and I haven't given myself the gift of preparing it at home. I am also not allowing myself the pleasure of singing and making music.