It actually came when Bette Midler was singing Wind Beneath My Wings. I thought to myself, who would sing that song to me, or at least feel that way about the place I had in their life. (Besides my mom, sister, or grandmother.)
I want to know that my life was more than tending to my own biological and spiritual needs, and filling my financial needs with work. I chose to give my work some meaning by choosing the field of HIV/AIDS, so I do get some intrinsic benefit from that. I certainly don't want to seem like a complainer.
I don't even take this as a reason to despair, I see it more so as a signal from my inner GPS that I need to redirect. As I type I realize that there are probably stars and starlets sitting in that theater who hoped for or maybe even received a golden statue, yet are no closer to the feeling I'm searching for. Maybe they don't know who would sing that song for them either.